Sunday, December 14, 2014

The Real Rio.

Rio is full of layers. On the surface, you get to see its natural beauty, its incredible lifestyle, laughter and happiness that are contagious. Underneath that, you find all the functional problems that, only one that experiences Rio can see and understand. It is a layer of corruption, inequality and poverty, that makes this city very hard to love. 

But then, there is another layer, where you get the true essence of Rio. Its culture, its ravishing creativity and its boiling passion for art, music and love. And this is the part where, if you blink, you might miss. 

Today I went to an abandoned factory that has been turned into an art studio. No, not an art studio. Dozens of small ateliers (like little workshops) where artists can come to show and sell their work. It is this huge place, where the visitors still walk among the old machinery, the cricked stairs, and the worn out structure.  

The art pieces were from all different shapes and forms. Some were wooden tables, some were paintings, some were jewelry. There was music and laughter, smoking anywhere and chatter everywhere. It was a sunny Sunday, where families, dogs and friends came to find each other, to celebrate life in their own way.  I was shocked to see that, in this seemingly poor neighborhood, they are so rich in culture and art.

As I walked through the dirty hallways, I kept thinking about the United States. In the US, we would never allow a place like this to exist. There are safety hazards everywhere you look. Someone can fall from the old stairs at any given moment, and the structure of the place doesn't seem like it will hold much longer. There are no signs "follow this way"; there, art is found in every wall, every corner, and it is up to the visitors to explore as they please. I kept looking at all the possible lawsuits and hospital bills that could potentially come from this, but then I remembered: this is Rio.

And just as I thought I had seen it all, we get to the rooftop. This huge open area, with nothing but grass, where you can see Rio with your own eyes. I could see everything, from the streets down, to the slums up there. The sun was hitting my face, and the wind was blowing on me. I felt so alive! It feels like from here, Rio is untouchable. I am untouchable. 

It becomes so easy to take for granted the little things that make a city so special. Today, I feel like I explored a deep layer of Rio. A layer that characterizes the true difference between Brazil and the rest of the world; something that cannot be explained, only experienced. 

Saturday, December 13, 2014

This is real, this is Rio.

I am Brazilian. Loud ad proud, and with the bottom of my heart. That doesn't mean some things don't still shock me. This is how I see my country now, after living abroad for 5 years.

Rio is breath taking. I don't get tired of looking at it, of breathing it in and being dazzled by what I see. No matter how many times I find my way to Rio, Rio just doesn't cease to mesmerize me. 
But, not everything is sunshine and rainbows in this beautiful land. There are problems and there is evil too. 

I had forgotten how scared everyone is - everyone needs to be. Walking on the streets of Copacabana, I always have to watch my back, hold my purse tight, and hope that today is not the day a kid with a weapon will take everything that I own. And the sad part is, nowhere is really safe. Crimes happen day or night, crowded street or middle of nowhere. I can be alone or in a group, in a building or outside my house. If I'm in a car, they can take the car. If I'm in the streets, people are too scared to help, because they might get hurt too. It's crazy how the city has been taken over by illegality, and most of the times, the police won't help you either. 

My sister got robbed a few months ago. She went to the police, and thanks to technology, she was able to pinpoint the location of her phone. The chief at the police station simply told her "do you think anyone is going to want to go there just to get your phone?" , and as she stares at the policeman, unable to grasp what he is saying, he explains that even though it is their job, who in their right mind would risk going inside the slum? Like my sister's story, many other remain untold. 

Also, beware when taking a taxi. Seems like many of the yellow cabs are actually kidnapping, robbing, and raping their passengers. There is little control, and no way of finding out which ones are real taxis and which ones are not. 

Since we are talking about taxis, let me tell you a story of what happened yesterday. I was in a taxi, when the guy was telling me the stories of things that happened while I was gone. There were several worth-telling stories - including the one where his car got stolen and when the police refused to help, he grabbed his friends, a few guns, and took back his car - but the one that I want to share concerns our legal system. 

In Brazil, until you are 18 you are not considered an adult. It's a black and white rule, and simple to understand; if you commit any crime before you are 18, you cannot be tried as an adult, cannot go to jail, and cannot have anything permanent on your record. So, as the taximan was telling me, there was this 17 year old boy who wanted money for his 18th birthday party. So, he decided to rob a bus. He went in, started robbing everyone, and he saw a pretty girl sitting over there. He decided to rape her, right then and there. The police caught him, but there were still a few days till his 18th birthday. The end of this story is not pretty, and unfortunately, more common than anyone would like it to be. The kid was held in a facility for a few days until his birthday, which is when he was released to his old life. He is a free man today. His picture could not be released to the public, because he was a minor. His future employers cannot have access to this record, because it happened while he was still 17. So he is out here, walking around like you and me. He could be working at the store by my house, or he could be the taxi driver that told me this story. 

It's sad how this wonderful city has been taken over by illegality. It's sad how my city is broken. And it's crazy how we all still love it so much. 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Decisions.

Escrever por escrever.
Nunca para deixar de ser.
 
--------------- 

Decisões. Decisões. Decisions.

Meu mundo é repleto de decisões, sendo feitas a todo tempo.
Mas o que me leva a decidir? 

Vejo exatamente o que é errado e o que é certo. Meu cérebro diz algo, mas vem essa vontade do nada de escolher a outra opcão..... aaaaah porque?

Decisões. Decisões. Decisions.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Help needed.

I need help. 

I get help from my career adviser. I get help from my teachers. I get help from the elevator in my building and the cafeteria lady serving me food. I get help from Johnny Walker when I had a long day, from Jose Cuervo when I need to get away, and from my friends when nothing seems to go my way. 

But why is it so hard to admit? 

A promise to self

In this crazy hectic world, how much is a promise to ourselves worth? 
Just think about it. 

I promise I will go to the gym tomorrow morning. I promise to watch less netflix? I WILL study for the next test. This time will be different. This year will be different.

How often do we actually accomplish the things that we promise to ourselves? How come a promise to someone else somehow seems more important than a promise to the person who matters the most? 

I have been doing my 30 day challenges for about 3 years now. In these challenges, I choose something that I have always wanted to do, and try it out, for 30 days. 

The 30 day challenge for this month was to write everyday. This is day 7, and I already missed out twice. 

If I can't stay true to myself, how am I gonna stay true to the people I love? 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Celebrate our differences.

I had always thought a perfect relationship is one without fights. In my head, when I met "the one", we would always be calm and loving, and when we have a fight, we agree to disagree. 

Well, I was wrong. Can you imagine how boring a relationship like that would be? 

I want passion. I want an intense relationship, where we drive each other crazy but still could not imagine a life without each other. I want my own roller coaster - where even if we get scared, we will be right there next to each other. If I can't have low moments with the person I love,  then how am I supposed to enjoy the good moments? 

Celebrate our differences.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Choose your battles

I have been having a little bit of a struggle.

The thing is, I have a lot of passion that I was never able to channel into one single outlet. I have channeled it into school, AIESEC (youth empowerment), self awareness, self improvement.... but then I look at the world. 

Kids are dying. Poor people are dying. Hell, everyone is dying! There are unfair wages by companies in underdeveloped countries. Human rights being violated, human trafficking under our noses and environmental problems all around. There is hunger and war and so many things that I want to change about the world that I get.... overwhelmed. 

Yes, seems like a first world problem, that I am complaining about wanting to change too many things about the world. But it was truly overwhelming me, which led me to look for a solution. And that is when I ran into the following quote:

"Choose your battles." 

Now, this is what keeps me sane (most of the time) and focused on the cause that I care about the most. I still wish I could do something about everything, but I know that I can't. And just because I can't do everything, doesn't mean I shouldn't do anything. So I will keep choosing my battles. 

Beijos! 

Sunday, September 28, 2014

100 positive things

I ran into an interesting challenge the other day, that I decided to take on.

The idea was: write a list of 100 positive things about myself. 

Took me about 2 weeks to finish the 100 items. It was quite interesting to see that #1 took a while. I was staring at the paper, not knowing what to write. I wrote down #1 (I smile a lot). I stared at it for a while, laughed a little, and kept going. Number 7, 8 , 9.... the list was growing and the positive things were flying in my head and into the paper. But, as I approached #30.... Things started getting harder. The higher the number, the more I wanted to write some random BS that wasn't really positive. But I am proud to say that I didn't.

I have just finished my list. 

What did I learn? Well, It felt really good to write 100 positive things about myself. I started to appreciate myself more and more, instead of being ashamed of saying "yes, I am good at this". There is a big difference between being conceded and appreciating what I am good at. 

I am very happy that I completed this list, and I would definitely encourage everyone to try it as well.

Beijos! 

The power of creativity

I have this thing. It's a great thing, called ideaphoria. I know it sounds like a fancy word, but all it means is that I have ideas. A lot of ideas, constantly, about everything you can possibly imagine. 

It seemed to me that my best ideas decide to show up during the shower. Those 10 minutes under the water seem to be a perfect space for genius, incredible ideas that completely vanish my head once I turn off the water.  

As this has been a recurring problem, I decided I needed a solution.
I found this really cool paper and pencil that were made exactly for this! Fantastic right? But..... it cost $7 dollars. So, creativity at its finest moments led me to this:


Aluminum foil, a string, and 2 sharpies. Now, even the not-so-great ideas can last for longer than 10 minutes. Oh, the power of creativity! 

Beijos! 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Hello there,


I have no clue who you are. You might be a friend, a stranger or, most likely, my mother. But regardless, I want you to know who I am.

I am Annah. I travel the world and by doing so, I discover my own world. I am friendly, loud, and quite funny actually - but that depends on who you ask. I left home (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) when I was 17, and I have only returned a few times, occasionally. Since then, I turned 18 years old in Finland, 19 in Brazil, 20 in the US, 21 in Mexico and 22 in Czech Republic. And here I am, 22, living in Houston, and writing about..... well, about whatever I feel like writing :)

Enjoy!